The Silly Bible

Genesis 19:9-11 the angel struck with blindness the homosexual men to protect Lot.

Genesis 32:24-30 Jacob had a wrestling match with God and won.

Genesis 3:14 God said to the serpent: “because thou hast done this, thou are cursed.”

Matt. 25:1,2 five virgins were wise and five virgins were foolish.

Ezekiel 4:15 Ezekiel cooked his bread on cow dung. See what I mean about the silly.

Psalm 56:8 David asked God to put his tears in a bottle.

Jude 9 Michael the archangel debated with the devil.

2Kings 2:11 the prophet Elijah traveled to heaven in a whirlwind.

Acts 7:55-60 Stephen was stoned to death for preaching Jesus was the savior.

Acts 8:18,19 Simon wanted to buy the ability to do miracles like Peter and John.

Luke 10:17,18 Jesus saw Satan fall out of heaven.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Luke 1:26 Angel Gabriel told Mary that she would be the mother of Jesus.

John 6:35 I myself am the bread of life. No one who comes to me shall ever be hungry. No one who believes in me shall ever thirst.

Proverbs 18:22, it says that “whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”

Hosea 1:2 God told Hosea to go and marry a prostitute.

Isaiah 14:13 Lucifer said, “I will exalt my throne above the stars of God.

Matt 18:21,22 Peter was told by Jesus to forgive his brother 490 times.

Cor.4:20, it says that the kingdom of God is not in word but in power.

Matt. 3:16 the spirit of God descended on Jesus in the form of a dove.

Matt. 28:19 Jesus said Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 16: 6 it was forbidden by the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia.

In Luke 8:2 Mary Magdalene had 7 demons in her.

Matt. 3:1-4 John the Baptist had an interesting diet of locust and honey.

John 8:6 Jesus wrote with his finger on the ground.

Matt. 20:30 Jesus said that even all the hairs on our head are numbered by God.

John 9:6 Jesus mixed his saliva with clay and put it on the eyes of the blind man to make him see.

John 20:4-6 Peter was the first person to enter the empty tomb of Jesus.

Judges 6:36,37 Gideon put out a fleece to test God.

2 Samuels 11: 2-17 King David arranged to have Uriah killed because he wanted Uriah’s wife.

Numbers 11: 32,33 the nation of Israel got sick and tired of eating quail for dinner.

Acts 12:5-11 Peter was the man who was released from prison by an angel.

Matt. 27:3-5 Judas Iscariot committed suicide by hanging himself.

Acts 1:18 Judas Iscariot committed suicide by falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out.

Of course, not everything written in the bible is mythical hogwash. There are quite a few truths. For example:

Job 1:21,22 Job said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb.”

Eccl. 9:5 it says: “The dead know not anything, neither have they any more a reward for the memory of them is forgotten.”

In the final analysis, however the bible is a silly book that should be thrown out the window not only lightly, but thrown out forcefully. The bible is full of heavy religious garbage as parts of the Christian theological junk.