The Sacred Beliefs of the Sick Man of Asia

THE SACRED BELIEFS OF THE SICK MAN OF ASIA PROUD OF HIS FREE WILL They believe that human intelligence is always a sin. Human stupidity always a virtue. Though at most times they cannot tell the difference. They do not read the bible; but when they do and cannot make heads or tails of bible verses, they call it - “divine wisdom.” They believe that believing is far more crucial than knowing. In fact, they believe that to be among the silly believers collectively is far more pleasing to a divinity than to be among the intelligent thinkers individually. They believe that to be a “born again” is more pleasing to God especially if one remains a child in a state of chronic dependence and does not have to grow up to become a mature thinking adult. They believe in religion not primarily as a search for philosophical veracity, but as an overwhelming search for an ally in the sky for the sake of emotionally security. They believe that it does not matter what mysterious things one believes for as long as it remains perpetually mysterious. They believe that we have no population problem of 100 million poor Filipinos growing to 200 million poorer Filipinos by the year 2040 because God is good and will always provide for the Philippines. They believe that God inspired the silly authors to write the bible. But that same God could not inspire the stupid theologians to announce to the world at large if the souls of our dead parents, grandparents and other dead loved-ones made it to heaven or are now punished in hell. They believe in the man of faith despite the fact that the man of faith is like a silly drunkard who clings to a lamppost for support, not illumination They believe in the existence of immortality that consists of a hereafter even if there were no herebefore. Which makes the concept of immortality nothing but a biblical farce, a fraud, and a ceremony. They believe that Jesus died on the cross to destroy the devil. The devil, however, is still alive today employed as chief military adviser of the US government installing the freedom of deviltry in oil-rich countries. They believe that the bible was written by inspired authors of God. Such authors, however, were a bunch of superstitious primitives who did not even know that the earth is round or that it rotates on its own axis while it orbits round the sun. They believe that eating no meat on Good Fridays is a great virtue. But to live like pigs and to think like cows during the rest of the year is the greatest of social values, specially through Christ, our Lord, amen. They believe that if a belief were believed by some 100 million people, it must be a true belief. Never mind even if said belief does not accord with the facts. They believe that after death they will meet with God face to face. As if God has a face and as if the believers themselves will have a face to face anyone after death. They believe practice makes perfect. They therefore practices stupidity daily on this earth so that by the time they get to heaven they will be stupid perfectly. Indeed, “on earth as it is in heaven.” They believe in how to win friends and influence people especially if they were the same religious morons – the stupid teachers - who are the greatest influence on children during the formative years in school. They believe that the atheists are a bunch of worthless and immoral morons. They ignore the historical fact that the atheists have never declared war on other atheists for not believing in the existence of God. They believe that Jose Rizal’s life was not tragic. On the contrary, that it was quite patriotic. Especially since inspired ecclesiastic managed to have him executed as a lunatic since, they claim, despicably, he died in the end as a penitent catholic. Finally, with my good will, instead of a free will, I managed to get myself expelled out of La Salle high school. I vehemently refused to believe that God has always blessed His Sick Believers Asia Poch Suzara