Friday, July 20, 2007

The Beliefs of a Faithful Moron

He believes that human intelligence is always a sin. Human stupidity always a virtue. Though at most times he cannot tell the difference. He does not read the bible; but when he does and cannot make heads or tails of bible verses, he calls it “divine wisdom.” He believes that believing is far more crucial than knowing. In fact, he believes that to be among the silly believers collectively is far more pleasing to divinity than to be among the intelligent thinkers individually. He believes that to be a “born again” is more pleasing to God especially if one remains a child in a state of chronic dependence and does not have to grow up to become a mature adult. He believes in religion not primarily as a search for philosophical veracity, but as an overwhelming search for emotional security. He believes that it does not matter what mysterious things one believes for as long as it remains perpetually mysterious. He believes that God inspired the silly authors to write the bible. But the same God could not inspire the stupid theologians to announce to the world at large if the soul of our dead parents, grandparents and other dead loved-ones made it to heaven or are now being fried punished in hell. He believes in the man of faith despite the fact that the man of faith is a silly drunkard who clings to a lamppost for support, not illumination. He believes in the existence of immortality that consists of a hereafter even if there were no herebefore. Which makes the concept of immortality nothing but a biblical farce, a fraud, and a ceremony. He believes that Jesus died on the cross to destroy the devil. The devil, however, is still alive today employed as chief military adviser of the US government installing the freedom of deviltry in oil-rich countries. He believes that the bible was written by inspired authors of God. Such authors, however, were a bunch of superstitious morons who did not even know that the earth is round or that it rotates on its own axis. He believes that eating no meat on good Fridays is a great virtue. But to live that like pigs and think like cows during the rest of the year is the greatest of virtue. He believes that if a belief were believed by some 100 million people, it must be a true belief. Never mind even if said belief does not accord with the facts. He believes that after death he will meet with God face to face. As if God has a face and as if the believer himself will have a face to face anyone after death. He believes practice make perfect. He therefore practices stupidity daily on this earth so that by the time to gets to heaven he will be stupid perfectly. Indeed, “on earth as it is in heaven.” He believes in how to win friends and influence people especially if they were the religious morons or the stupid teachers - who are the greatest influence on his children in school. He believes that the atheists are a bunch of worthless and immoral sinners. He ignores the historical fact that the atheists have never declared war on other atheists for not believing in the existence of God. He believes that Jose Rizal’s life was not tragic. On the contrary, that it was quite patriotic. Especially since inspired ecclesiastic managed to have him executed as a lunatic since, they claim, he died as a penitent catholic. Poch Suzara

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