Am Not a Real Atheist

I am told that I am not a real atheist because I read and study the bible. Indeed, I have been reading and studying the bible for almost 30 years now. The bible has been the most potent reason that convinced me to embrace the beauty and the harmony of atheism. But I have also been reading and studying the writings of Bertrand Russell during these past 50 years. I am a slow reader. I was born gifted with a low I.Q. In fact, I was expelled out of high school for being such a “dumb” student in la Salle. Of course in school, I got failing grades for “wanting to know;” but I got excellent grades for “consenting to believe.” Perhaps, it is true. I am not a real atheist. After all, if God exists he could only exist for me in the personage of a Bertrand Russell. Indeed, he was a real God to me. Russell saved not my silly soul, but saved instead my precious mind and precious heart living on this earth. Oh yes, I love, worship, and adore Bertrand Russell. If it turns out that there is life after death but Bertrand Russell will not there on my side in my pursuit of the truth, then I say fuck life after death. Poch Suzara